if you care to:
NOT me but:
“If you smoke, drink, go to college, don’t go to college, complete your assignments or not, it’s all entirely up to you. You choose this, every day. You forget how completely in control you are. And it scares you.”
I’m an atheist but it was an almost spiritual experience for me. Since that day, 10 years ago now, I know that I’m at this job, I drive this car, I live in this house, I do the things I do because I want to. And while it doesn’t make any of those things better, in a way, the constant thought at the back of my mind that no one’s got a gun to my head, I am doing the things that I ultimately want to do, brings me a constant sense of tremendous peace.
I’ve always had this theory, not sure for how long or from what it was originally inspired from, that you are who you hate. As awesomely mysterious as this may sound let me give you an example to better illustrate the idea instead of you thinking I’m just trying to be intuitively paradoxical with all this:
Joe meets Herbert. Joe, at first impression, does not like Herbert. Herbert is friendly to Joe, is not necessarily rude, yet somehow just rubbed Joe the wrong way. Joe doesn’t have to tell this to Herbert, but all Joe knows is that there is justsomething about this Herbert that he doesn’t like.
Your life example:
Think of somebody in your life that for one reason or another you simply do not like. You may not like the way they carry them self, you may not like the way the person acts, the person’s mannerisms, the way the person speaks, their personality.. something. You think the person is too cocky, the person is too full of themselves, the person thinks they’re funny but they’re not, the person thinks they’re good looking but they’re not, the person is egotistical, the person is shady with motivations you don’t agree with, the person is liked by other people for reasons you don’t see.. something. This is your Herbert.
We all have one or two Herberts in our lives that we’ve met. Hell, I love everybody that I meet. The person can be rude as fuck to me and I’ll just think they’re a sarcastic bastard like me and find it hilarious. However, even for me, a person who literally gets along with everybody he meets in his life and would probably take candy and hop in the van with some stranger off the street before anybody could yell “YAHTZEE!!,” I have my Herberts.
Now what the F does this Herbert have to do with me? Step back for a second, go outside the box and focus with me here. Why do you hate Herbert? What is it about him that really pisses you off?
*Queue Inception music here*
What Herbert represents to you is a similar, vulnerable part of yourself that you are insecure with or unhappy about and you do not like it.
It’s not Herbert you don’t like, it’s the fact that Herbert is so damn much like you that he reminds you of your own flaws and you hate it the same way you hate your own imperfections. The way I see it, it’s like you’re looking into a mirror and you don’t like what you see so you illogically reject it and your mind fills in the blanks. Take all the things you were saying before of why you hate Herbert- I hate how he’s not funny and awkward, I hate how he’s such a try-hard, I hate how he acts like he’s tight but we all know it’s a front and it’s annoying- take all the hes and replace them with Is. I hate how I’m not funny and awkward, I hate how I’m such a try-hard sometimes and I know it, I hate how I act like I’m secure and cool but everybody sees through me and knows it’s a front. Crazy, huh? YOU’VE JUST BEEN INCEPTIONED!! (South Park joke.)
Now, this also may lead to a few things where you actually end up disliking Herbert. You may see Herbert and almost feel threatened that this person is so much like you that it is a competition of who is the better version. You may see Herbert trying to pull the same front that you do but you see right through him for his dorky self yet nobody else does. You may see how hard he’s trying to be funny and to you it’s just annoying but to everybody else they think he’s hilarious. Again, this is you being insecure with yourself. You are insecure that you aren’t good enough and can’t compete, you are insecure that people just see through your front instead of his, you are insecure that people don’t always find you funny. Whichever way it ends up, you need to reevaluate why you’re hating on him and think, “Am I just being insecure with myself or is this person actually annoying?”
Realize that you have the power to change. Realize that you are hating for the wrong reasons. Realize that until you are fully happy and content with yourself, you will put the blame on others for being “shitty” people. Who are we to judge? Now that you’re armed with this knowledge, know that you are responsible to change for the better otherwise you’re just cheating yourself. Be happy, don’t waste energy hating, change for the better, and just YOU DO YOU.
I know I got a little preachy there towards the end, but I think that’s more for me than it is for you.
This is just food for thought for your daydreaming brains to munch on. Plus, who knows, maybe the person is just straight up annoying like all the cases in my life (cause I’m perfect, duh).
Oh and, FUCK YOU HERBERT!